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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
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Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
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They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
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One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
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There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
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It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
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Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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