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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
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Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
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One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
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Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
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One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
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Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
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Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
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There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
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One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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