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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
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May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
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Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
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They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
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I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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