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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
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A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
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Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
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Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
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