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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
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Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
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He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
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You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
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Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
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Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
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There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
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May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
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We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
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You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
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I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
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It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
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